March 4, 2009
Are you a good candidate for a hospital birth?
Must not be scared of needles.
Must not be claustrophobic or uncomfortable in confined spaces.
Must be able to go for long periods of time without eating or drinking.
Must be happy to share a bathroom with others.
Must enjoy sleeping on a mattress covered with plastic.
Must not have a rebellious or questioning nature.
Must accept the possibility of contracting antibiotic-resistant infections.
Must be confident with caregivers who are overtired and overworked.
Must realize that a limited amount of time can be spent in a hospital room before it is needed for the next patient.
Must like and trust electronic equipment.
Must be comfortable with cesarean rate of 30%.
Must accept that the mood of the nurse on duty will be a large determinant of the birth outcome.
Must realize that someone you have never met before will likely receive your baby.
Must realize that the written birth plan will be ignored.
Must be willing to have fluorescent lights turned on at all hours.
Must be capable of birthing without making loud noises.
Must look good in a flimsy blue gown that is open up the back.
Must be willing to be a teaching subject for student doctors who are learning to do pelvic exams, surgeries, and suturing.
Don’t forget, must not mind having lots of people bothering you while you are trying to birth.
Must not mind people bossing you around, telling you when to push.
Must not mind needless interventions.
Must not mind having unnecessary procedures done to your baby like the eye drops, vitamin k shot, hep b shots, unnecessarily bathing your infant.
[…] Okay and finally I think women who give birth in hospitals are braver than I. Here’s why. Oh and I have a friend who gave birth in the teeny tiny local town hospital and she said that although she specifically told her doctors no episiotomy no matter what she had it done to her both times she gave birth against her wishes! The episiotomy rate at the birth center is like 2%! It is RARELY necessary and being cut actually causes you to tear worse! I had several people hear me say I wouldn’t want to go to a hospital because of the high “cut” rates. Several women looked at me and said “but then you would TEAR!” Like it was the worst thing on earth. Seriously tearing isn’t as bad as being cut and then tearing some more after the cut! I only had a tiny abrasion that didn’t need to be stitched. If the baby is positioned right and the midwife helps you push verrrry slowly as in “okay now push 1-2-3, stop, breathe..and so on very slowly easing baby out-your body has a chance to stretch and most women don’t even tear or only a TINY bit. Some women do tear more and it is hard but not as hard as being cut and then tearing some more. The reason why doctors often cut instead of letting a woman stretch naturally and slowly is because they are in such a HURRY for the baby to come out plus a tear is harder to stitch than a nice clean CUT (yikes). Call me chicken but I just don’t like doctors coming at me with scissors and knives. […]
Must not mind having your ” I do not consent” ignored.
Must not mind having your partner’s judgement and loyalty compromised by scaremongering practitioners.
Must not mind having a baby injured by non-therapeutic interventions.
Must not mind emergency hysterectomies.
Must not mind PTSD, PPD.
That cesarean rate could be 40% or 50% depending on what hospital you are in. Also add, like jackhammers pounding above your floor starting at 7/8 a.m. in the morning, going all day doing construction. Yeh, that was one of the many gems of my first “birth.” Also add being “checked” vaginally, spread-eagled, for the umpteenth painful time, WHEN the janitor/orderly opens the door to check for trash in your trashcan. yeh
LOL! so true… all of them!
Seriously? where do you people live? i would not stand for that treatment, nor would i take the huge risk of having a baby anywhere else! i am not so selfish that i would risk my baby’s wellbeing like that!
many hospitals have improved their birthing centers so much in the past few years, SHOP AROUND! pick a good hospital and a doctor who listens to you. if you dont like your doc. get a new one!
I got to use a birthing tub, until i decided i needed some pain releif (you cant have an epidural in the tub) so I gave birth in a dimly lit hospital room, with 2 very helpful nurses coaching us, NO episiotomy (my husband would have screamed at them if they even tried! but i did tear a little). my midwife and doctor made sure i ate the day i gave birth, about 16 hours beforehand (i was there for 55 hours before i gave birth)
and the eyedrops are NOT UNNECESSARY. the rates of blindness dropped 50% after they started doing that. Bacteria in your vagina can cause blindness in a newborn who’s immune system CAN’T FIGHT BACTERIA.
sight is so precious, that is not a risk i am willing to take.
Who are you quoting when you say “the rates of blindness dropped 50% after they started doing that”? Eye treatment of newborns is not done routinely in Britain or Australia—I’m sure if their babies were going blind they would start putting antibiotics in the eyes, too. Gloria Lemay
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