PRENATAL CARE or PRENATAL SCARE?



Women in Australia ask each other “Who are you going to for Prenatal Scare?” Sadly, that could be said in North America, too. Stressed practitioners unloading their personal fears on pregnant women is a common scenario all over the world.
A pregnant woman in Australia wrote to me because of these instructions from her midwives: “Lydia, your baby’s head is not engaged in the pelvis and you are close to your due date. We’re concerned that the umbilical cord might prolapse if your membranes release before your contractions are well established. If that happens, call an ambulance to get you to the hospital and get in an all-4’s position on the floor while you wait for the paramedics!”

She wrote to me in Canada to get my opinion on that advice. I told her my favorite theory about low-probability problems in birth work. I wrote: “Yes, Lydia, all that could happen, but it’s highly unlikely. Do you know that you could be walking down the street in your city and a piano could fall on your head? That’s possible, too, but none of us refuse to walk on city sidewalks because of the falling piano danger.” That explanation gave her confidence to continue with her homebirth plans. The midwives attended and everything went well.

Discussing things that are real and present is what pregnant women need from their midwives prenatally. Hallucinations of possible disasters that aren’t happening need to be silenced.
When a woman comes for a prenatal visit (or you attend at her home), she’s excited to be with her midwife and find out how her baby is doing. When a midwife is doing her best work, she will:
Be listening intently to what the client is saying.
Be organized so the client gets the message that the midwife values the client’s time.
Be writing notes of everything the parents say.
Be able to say “I don’t know the answer to that, but I will look it up and send you what I find out.”

The prenatal visits are a “dress rehearsal” for the actual birth. The family is getting an idea about how the midwife will be once the birthing time arrives. Is she punctual? Does she answer her phone promptly? Does she smell nice? Does she answer questions honestly? Do we feel comfortable, relaxed, and included when we’re with her?

I had a young couple come to an introductory appointment with me about 25 years ago. The government of British Columbia had just regulated midwifery and families wishing to have a homebirth with a midwife could get the service on their medical plan. I was not regulated and I charged $2800 to attend a homebirth. I explained that they could get a midwife “under the medical plan” and I also reminded them that I lived a 90-minute drive away from them. There were midwives working very near where they lived who would be paid by the government.
The father responded that “No, they didn’t want the local midwife and, yes, even though they didn’t have a lot of money they wanted someone like me.” He then proceeded to demonstrate what the local midwife did that he couldn’t accept. He started speaking to me while staring at a spot on the wall that was about 18 inches above my head. He didn’t connect with my eyes for the next little while. It was very weird. Then he told me “That’s what the midwife did. She never made eye contact when speaking to me.” He didn’t want long, deep stares, he just wanted a normal conversation with someone who looked him in the eye once in a while. I wondered what kind of fear state that midwife was in during the appointment.

I had a number of different physicians palpate my belly in my second pregnancy. The possibility of a homebirth had not occurred to me and my husband. We kept shopping for a doctor who would promise that 1. I wouldn’t be given an episiotomy, and 2. The baby would stay with me at all times. Those doctors were very clear that they would be in charge and I would get what they ordered and I didn’t get to tell them what to do.
Finally, we found out there were some midwives in Vancouver, BC, who would attend homebirths. We met with one of them, Elly, and for the first time in my pregnancy, someone palpated my belly with soft, warm hands and seemed to realize there was a real little human in my uterus. That experience sold me on her. Luckily, my husband was very impressed with her, too. I am forever grateful that I found the ideal midwife for me who fit with my family perfectly. Warm hands, a quiet confidence, and a willingness to meet my requests—that’s what her prenatal care encompassed.

Gloria Lemay is a childbirth activist living in British Columbia, Canada. She has a passion for VBAC, waterbirth and ending male genital mutilation. She is a blogger at wisewomanwayofbirth.com. Her film “Birth with Gloria Lemay” was produced in 2012 and has been viewed all over the world.

WISE WOMAN POSTPARTUM DOULA RETREAT 2024

April 5th, 6th, and 7th 2024
Bowen Island, British Columbia, CANADA

Join us for the 1st Annual Wise Woman Postpartum Doula Retreat. Wise Woman Way of Birth will be at the Xenia Retreat Center on Bowen Island for 3 days and 2 nights, surrounded by beautiful nature, soaking up the palpable spirit of these healing grounds.

A replenishing experience for your body, mind, and spirit.
An immersive training in continued postpartum education.
A connection for the postpartum doula community.

“I have been dreaming of this retreat for almost two years now, since moving to Bowen Island. I want to bring together the community of postpartum doulas that has been building over the last few years to connect deeper in person. There are so many brilliant, fascinating women doing this work, and we can all be supporting each other to better support the families we work with. It started as this zygote of an idea to give doulas some of the skills they have been asking for and has grown into this immersive, healing, cup-filling retreat with a dream team of speakers!” Candice Johnson

Trainings will be focused on postpartum body and soul integration and normalizing infant sleep. Guests will be given ample time to enjoy the grounds, which include a walking labyrinth, trails connecting to Killarney Lake, indoor meditation and reflective spaces, visiting the famous OPA tree, and enjoying the infrared sauna. Meals are included.

“Xenia is a 38-acre Sanctuary in the heart of Bowen Island, one hour from downtown Vancouver and 90 minutes from our international airport. It is also surrounded by hundreds of acres of protected government forests and lakes. It is a place of safety and beauty. It is a place to heal, to rest, to play and to discover one’s true nature and inherent gifts.”
Please contact us for accommodation options and pricing.
Candice@cherishchildbirth.com
1 604 786 5841
Xenia accommodations
and pricing for

Wise Woman Postpartum Doula Retreat

Oma Cottage

Enjoy this bright, private cottage with Queen bed and private bathroom. Relax and enjoy the meadow

below and Oma Tree, an ancient Maple.

The only private room with a private bathroom in the suite.

$825.00
One spot available.

Creekside Cottage

As you enter this cottage, with its queen size bed and comfy couch, enjoy the picture window that
faces out to the creek and the luscious ferns and trees. Pause for a moment and have a listen to the
burbling creek. Watch the horses from the door as they munch in the meadow. The bathroom for this

cottage is located in the lodge.
One of the only private rooms.

$775.00
One spot available.

Lodge Upstairs Bedrooms

Walk the small winding staircase to the upstairs rooms in the main lodge and choose one of our unique

little bedrooms.

There are 2 private bedrooms upstairs. One of the bedrooms faces the garden, the other faces out to
the trees and the road to the barn. They each have a single bed. The bathroom is located downstairs.

$725.00
Two spot available.

Cedar Cottage

Spacious and bright with full size windows, there is a luxurious and open feel to this cottage. Look out
to the meadow and maybe you will see deer wandering through, maybe the horses will be out grazing

and geese dropping in.

Cedar cottage has 1 king size bed, and 2 single beds. Also includes an ensuite with shower, toilet and

sink.
$725.00
Three spots available.

Maple Cottage

Walk a little further and open this door… as you enter Maple cottage, enjoy the roominess and the
rustic feel along with the wooden beams and the old claw foot tub. Look outside and say hello to Oma,
the maple tree that stands outside this cottage with her arms extended outstretched towards the sky.

Maple cottage has 1 queen size bed and 2 sets of bunk beds.
Also includes bathroom with bathtub/shower, toilet and 2 sinks.

$685.00
5 spots available.

Garden Cottage

Immersed in the green cozy landscape of the Xenia organic gardens, you are safely ensconced amidst
the wooden gates, twinkling evening lights and narrow pathways. The sky is open for full view

bringing both the sun and moon for your enjoyment.

Garden Cottage has 1 loft bed the full length of the cottage and 2 single beds. The bathroom is a

short delightful walk through the garden to the lodge.

$675.00
Three spots available.

Crystal Yurt

As you leave the garden gate and walk the gentle sloping hill, look to the left, there is Crystal yurt
waiting for you. Open the door of this yurt and enjoy the decor as the peaceful energy melts into your

essence.

Crystal Yurt has 1 queen size bed and a single bed. The bathroom is located in another building a few
steps away. If by chance you require a nighttime visit, the wonder of the night sky is there to

accompany you.
$675.00
Two spots available.

Luna Yurt

Open the door into another of our yurts and experience yet another flavour. Enjoy the eclectic décor,
fun and bright. Be close to the outside as you are inside. If you listen closely, you may hear the

deer wander through and the owls calling out to you.

Luna Yurt has 1 double bunk bed (double on the bottom and single on the top) and 1 single bed. The
bathroom is located in another building a few steps away. If by chance you require a nighttime visit,

the wonder of the night sky is there to accompany you.

$650.00
Three spots available.

You can view pictures of all the accommodations on the Xenia website at this link:

Accommodations

Fill a cabin with a friend/friends and save 5% each.

Wise Woman Postpartum Doula Retreat

CHOLESTASIS

Cholestasis remedy from Nat Dash, Australia (O.C. = obstetric cholestasis)
Source: My good friend and great midwife Lisa.

Dear Gloria, I use Nat Dash’s info. here it is.
Drink minimum 2 litres of purified water daily. THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT!! (2 glasses of warm water with fresh lemon juice, 1st thing in the morning)
I can’t recommend fresh juice enough; I feel they made a huge difference to my health. I chose to use fresh organic fruit & vegetables because of the toxins on the sprayed produce. Washing them in cider vinegar helps to reduce pesticides too though. Large apple, carrot, beetroot, celery & parsley, 3 times a day, 20 mins before a meal. Great for flushing out those toxins!!!
Pineapple & parsley is great for keeping up iron levels.
Porridge/oats made with water or rice milk – great for lowering rising cholesterol, which generally happens with O.C
Raw mushrooms also helped me a lot. I ate about a kilo a day. Later I found out that mushrooms are also beneficial to the liver.
Take all fats out of the diet. None or limited dairy products & meat. These are oestrogen forming… one of the contributing factors involved in Cholestasis is over production of oestrogen.
Deep sea ocean fish would be the best alternative & full of omega 3. If vegetarian, Flaxseed oil is fantastic & great for the skin.
Herbs made up by a qualified naturopath, as listed in article – psyllium husks, dandelion, slippery elm, globe artichoke, milk thistle etc.
Guar Gum is a natural gel-forming fibre & has been very successful in aiding women with this condition by increasing faecal elimination of bile acids. Tablet or powder form should be available from health food store or natural health professional.
Metamucil also helps to bind the bile.
Acupuncture was used throughout my pregnancy to assist with good liver function & for preparation & assistance with natural induction. Acupuncturist needs to be competent working with pregnant women & liver conditions.
Relaxation – Yoga, meditation, stretching, deep breathing, Reiki can all be helpful for both mind & body. Good preparation for labour also!!

Some women find it difficult to retain vitamin K with this condition (vit k is necessary for blood to clot).
Here are some suggestions to minimise bleeding/ Postpartum Haemorrhage (PPH):
Have blood tests to check haemoglobin at 36 weeks; use natural means to help avoid anaemia or supplement – floradix, Spatone etc
Take a good quality multi vitamin for pregnancy
Take alfalfa, 4 – 8 tablets per day, any brand. Alfalfa contains every vitamin & mineral, as it’s roots go extremely deep into the soil – it is an excellent source of vit k

This has worked in my experience.

Lisa

Soothing words for birth

When women start out on the path of birth work, they fear they won’t know what to say to the birthing woman. Quiet is more important than talking. A few words spoken at the right time can renew a woman’s sense of safety and resolve. Practicing saying soothing things out loud will make the words come easy when the time is right. Some things that might be appropriate to encourage a birthing mother:

“It’s safe to let go”
“You only have to do this one”
“Breathe right down into it, it’s safe to go there”
“Breathe oxygen down to your thighs, that’s it. . . breathe in oxygen and breathe out with loose lips.”
“What you’re doing is ancient. . . your mother, your grandmother and your great grandmothers all the way back have done this. They’re all proud of you tonight.”
“If you’re doing this well now, I know you’ll make it through. Each sensation brings you closer to holding your baby in your arms”.
“I’m so proud of you. You’re doing beautifully”.
“Let’s begin this birth anew. Just let your breath wash away the past 5 hours and let’s begin now at the beginning.”
“Breathe some good oxygen breaths for your baby.”
“There’s lots of room for the baby to come through”.
“You’re stretching beautifully. . there’s more space than you know”
“Just let the baby get itself born, you get out of the way”

Gloria Lemay, Vancouver BC Canada

Canadian midwife with client

HOW BIRTH STORIES GET JUMBLED

I wanted to share this memory with you, Ted. I don’t know if you remember this incident but I’ve told it to so many people and it always makes me laugh so I thought you might enjoy this trip down memory lane.

Many years ago, when we both had young kids and you were married to Karen, I bumped into you in the parking lot of the “7-11” on West Fourth Ave. We exchanged small talk for a while and, all of a sudden, you got a strange look on your face and blurted out the following, unforgettable (to me) sentence: “Gloria, is it true you were a topless dancer in China?” I couldn’t fathom how that thought could ever enter someone’s head. I’ve been accused of many things in my life but that was pretty far-fetched—I had never been to the Orient, I had never been to the local nude beach, none of what you said made any sense at all. But, somewhere in there, I started thinking “How could this husband of another birth attendant have gotten this idea in his head?”

Then, I remembered a birth that I had called Karen out to one evening. It was the second vaginal birth for the woman. When Karen arrived at the home, I went through the woman’s chart with her. The only surgery the birthing woman had ever had was a breast augmentation. She was a Caucasian woman who was married to a Japanese man. I explained to Karen that the couple had met in Japan and the first child had been born in a Japanese hospital, completely natural birth. The woman had been in Japan because she had taken a job as a hostess in a nightclub in Japan. japanese fan

Now, they were living in Vancouver and having their second child. The baby was born just after midnight and I sent Karen home soon after.

I’m guessing that what happened is that she crawled into bed with you, Ted, and you must have asked her “how did the birth go?” There wasn’t much to tell except that bit about her previous breast augmentation surgery so perhaps Karen told you about that. Somehow, in your sleepy state, that got changed into “Gloria Lemay was a topless dancer in China”.

Once I had retraced the strange pathway of that statement, I said to you: “You know, Ted, that’s not true about me BUT it’s way more interesting than my real life. Will you, please, spread that rumour about me!”

Thanks for the special moments and laughs that knowing you has added to my life. I love you and your dear family.

SHIFTING MINDSETS

Every once in a long while, I get a letter like this that re-inspires me to keep going on my heart’s desired goal of equal rights for baby boys. Protection from mutilating surgery. I’m posting this to inspire others to keep on talking and trusting that the parents of today will eventually find the way to setting aside genital cutting. Love Gloria

Dear Gloria,

I decided I needed to write to you to let you know that all of your efforts towards ending circumcision are not in vain. I’m sure you already know that, but perhaps a story of victory will be of encouragement. When we met, I had honestly never heard anyone stand against the concept of male circumcision. I had never considered it anything like female circumcision. I grew up in a Christian home, where we leaned pretty Jewish in our theology and circumcision was considered incredibly important. When my brother was born my parents had a Christian doctor who was terribly against circumcision and they heeded his advice and left my brother intact. My mom especially has always regretted that decision, and felt that she wronged my brother by being persuaded by the doctor. My brother has had many obstacles in his life and somehow these obstacles were all directed back to the “lack of blessing”.

When you explained your stance I began a rigorous examination of what I had always held to be the only way. At first glance my stance was only fortified because the scripture that refers to circumcision is so clear. Through this act you will receive the blessings bestowed upon Abraham and his generations and without it you will be cut off from any blessings and considered outside of the family. It wasn’t until I started to research what circumcision really looked like at that time that I realized the problem. You may already know this, but in antiquity circumcision was a cut at the base of the foreskin with a heated knife and then a partial pulling away, with the fingernails, which left the foreskin attached at the top. When the battles began between the Greeks and the Jews over circumcision (Jewish women and children slaughtered by the Greeks over circumcision, therefore Jews hiding it or not circumcising, and Jewish zealots forcing circumcision on any Jew found in tact) the Jewish zealots began to enforce the full removal of the foreskin in order to prevent Jews from “hiding” by pulling the foreskin down over the tip.

I also learned that this full removal in North America was used as a form of physiological control over the population, doctors suggesting to use no pain relief in order to associate pain with that region and “curb sexual desires”. Pretty messed up.

The part that really got me was that the original concept of circumcision was a blood covenant. I knew it was a covenant but I had missed this crucial point. You see the Rabbis would suck a drop of blood from the site of the wound and spit it out as a sign of now belonging to the same blood covenant as Abraham.

Mohel sucking boy's penis after cutting foreskin.

Mohel sucking boy’s penis after cutting foreskin.

The problem with this today is that currently Jewish culture does no blood rituals. They stopped when the temple was destroyed, and let’s be honest if the temple was rebuilt they would have a big challenge on their hands because culture has changed and this is no longer acceptable. What this blood covenant means to me as a Christian is that I cannot partake in this ritual because I am under the blood covenant of Jesus and what He did on the cross. I would be choosing a lesser covenant, with Abraham, for my child.

Now that all sounds pretty fanatical and religious and obviously there would be other factors in my decision making process but these concepts were still lurking there in my mind. I was over the moon excited to have a baby girl, partly because I REALLY wanted another daughter, and partly because I still didn’t know what to do by the time she was born. I finally feel completely freed from this concept. I actually strongly believe most of what the Jewish culture followed in antiquity was based on the atrocities that already occurred around them in neighboring cultures. I believe the regulations God gave them prevented them from doing terrible things that were considered normal and that over the years as they were drawn away from those cultures and into the culture of Heaven they were released more and more from these old regulations. I believe God is about compassion, love, justice, kindness and protecting the weak; and the darkness of our culture is a remnant from choosing to walk away from God in the garden.
It therefore does not make sense for this tradition to continue, a tradition that seems to tie itself with the darkness of a past age we have thankfully walked away from. However, it is imperative that people really walk out the process of making that decision for themselves so they do not end up, like my mom was for a season, blaming their choice on someone else’s coercion. The reason I wanted to share all of this with you is because the arguments you were using to explain why circumcision needed to stop were not completely shifting my viewpoint. You see growing up a Christian in a non-Christian culture there were a lot of things I had to choose to do that no one else understood, like waiting until I got married to have sex. Friends scoffed at me that I could never “make it” but I did. I have a pretty determined personality and I am capable of holding strong to a conviction without making a lot of noise about it. It is similar to my convictions against vaccines and on limiting medical interference in life, I have wonderful family members who are so passionately against me in this area that it can feel normal to go against someone else’s convictions. I wondered if knowing a tipping point for someone like me, might give you better tools to help someone in the future to rethink their position.

I hope this does not make you think less of me. You made it clear (when we first met) how against it you were, and I took that to heart. I felt that this was not something to be ignored when you so passionately battle to see it eradicated. I can now confidently say I agree with you wholeheartedly. From a Christian perspective I can say I believe it is wrong, and thought I do not know exactly how to work out the details I am pretty confident it is also no longer necessary for those of Jewish decent. I believe this concept of Bris Shalom would more than adequately cover the need for covenant and adhering to the bestowing of generational blessings. But, that is not my path to walk out.
Even before I completely agreed with you I was so impressed by your stance. I am honoured to know someone like you who is willing to protect these little lives no matter what the personal cost might be. I have so much respect for you. Thank you for what you do, -in birth and in protecting little boys. Shifting mind sets is no easy task. You are a true history maker. Love, Lydia

For more information on a naming ceremony that doesn’t involve any cutting or bleeding see: http://www.beyondthebris.com/2011/07/brit-shalom-alternative-naming-ceremony.html

Hypoxic Eschemic Encephalopathy (HIE)

    Hypoxic

= below normal levels of oxygen

    Eschemic

= restriction in blood supply to tissues, causing a shortage of oxygen and glucose needed for cellular metabolism (to keep tissue alive)

    Encephalopathy

= a disease in which the functioning of the brain is affected by some agent or condition

HIE Help Center
Mar 7, 2017
Dear Ms. Lemay,

My name is Genevieve and I’m writing to you as a fan of Wise Woman Way of Birth and a contributor to a new website devoted to childhood disability. Our website specializes in helping parents care for their children with HIE. We know that your posts approach a number of different topics surrounding birth, and we found the post “$70 Million Birth Injury Case” to be quite similar to our website’s platform and goals.

We understand that many parents may be going to your site and reading about birth injuries, perhaps after facing a diagnosis they aren’t sure about themselves. We would thus be so grateful if you considered adding a link to our page, which discusses HIE, a neonatal brain injury that causes disability throughout childhood and adulthood. I help run www.HIEHelpCenter.org, an informational website for parents of kids that were recently diagnosed with hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy (HIE). Our website is one of the only sites devoted to HIE on the Internet, and in order to raise awareness of this particular disability, we wanted to ask you if you would consider including us as a link on your blog in a blog post.

Thank you for your time!
Sincerely,
Genevieve Kotasek
HIE Help Center Community Outreach Coordinator

From: Gloria Lemay
June 10, 2017
To: HIE
Hi Genevieve, you wrote to me some time ago and I have just now been able to go and see your site. I looked over the “prevention” section and was surprised to NOT see two of the prevention things that I think are most crucial to making sure that infants get all the oxygen to their brains that they need.
1. leaving the umbilical cord alone (not cutting) until it has fully stopped pulsing. (Resuscitation can be done, if necessary, right on the mother’s abdomen and the cord is the baby’s life line)
2. avoiding the use of pain meds in birth. The mother has been so careful to not drink alcohol, take drugs unnecessarily, and eat well. Then, on the day of the birth, she is medicated for many hours with an epidural which freezes her from her breasts to her thighs. This is right where the baby is located. That baby is getting all that numbing medication, too. Moral support and less systemic meds would be a better way to go. Any woman who knows that her baby might be brain injured by an epidural would say “no” to it. Better to have a day of pain than a lifetime of suffering for the child. Most women don’t know about that and the doctors don’t realize it because they don’t see the problems that the child faces.

I think this is the type of information that could really give your readers power in the face of HIE. Gloria Lemay, Vancouver BC Canada
“$70 Million Birth Injury Case”

Keeping the Umbilical Cord Intact

These photos are a great demonstration of how the placenta, cord and baby keep working together after the birth when left intact. They were donated by a family to their midwives and I share them here with permission. If you’d like to see them on the original website, the link is http://www.nurturingheartsbirthservices.com/blog/?p=1542

The first picture was taken within the first minute or so of the birth….and then, pictures were taken “every so often” about every 3-5 minutes when the cord had changed a little more. The last picture was taken about 15-20 minutes after the birth.

Please credit or link to the original website if you share any of these photos. Thanks, Gloria.

One minute after birth

One minute after birth

cord begins to thin a little and not so tightly coiled

cord begins to thin a little and not so tightly coiled

Blood still travelling back and forth through the vessels

Blood still travelling back and forth through the vessels

Flow of blood  stopping----around 10 mins after birth

Flow of blood stopping—-around 10 mins after birth

Pulsing stopped and the jelly in the cord is collapsing.

Pulsing stopped and the jelly in the cord is collapsing.

Cord is thin after 15 to 20 minutes of being intact.

Cord is thin after 15 to 20 minutes of being intact.

Quote

“Adaptation to life outside the womb is the major physiological task for the baby in third stage. In utero, the wondrous placenta fulfills the functions of lungs, kidney, gut and liver for our babies. Blood flow to these organs is minimal until the baby takes a first breath, at which time huge changes begin in the organisation of the circulatory system.

Within the baby’s body, blood becomes, over several minutes, diverted away from the umbilical cord and placenta and, as the lungs fill with air, blood is sucked into the pulmonary (lung) circulation. Mother Nature ensures a reservoir of blood in the cord and placenta that provides the additional blood necessary for these newly-perfused pulmonary and organ systems.”

Sarah Buckley, M.D.
Source: http://sarahbuckley.com/leaving-well-alone-a-natural-approach-to-the-third-stage-of-labour

Birth of Twin Deer caught on film

You’ll have to view this little two minute video of a mother deer giving birth to twins on FB by going to the date link below. Here’s a photo as a sneak peek. Gloria

Debbie captures birth of twin deer

Debbie captures birth of twin deer

Twins born this morning right outside my backyard window

Posted by Debbie Parlette on Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Be sure to click on the highlighted DATE, not Debbie’s name.